From a young age I ached for intimacy and connection with girls and women but for a long time I lacked the confidence and knowledge to create it. At the age of 11 or 12 I discovered porn and very quickly I developed a secret reliance on it as an outlet for my confused, unfulfilled and intense sexual desires. A large divide formed inside me between the raw, lustful and sexual being that I was in that space and the sensitive, caring and loving young man others knew me to be. I didn't know how to bring these two parts of me together.
I have been on that journey ever since. At the age of 23 I did my first "formal" personal development retreat, a men's rites of initiation weekend and boy was it intense! During that process I discovered just how much of my manhood I had been suppressing from fear that by just being a man in the world I could hurt so many people. I had to fully accept who and what I was or my life would always have a slightly hollow and confused quality to it.
I had an incredibly loving upbringing, it was wholesome and magical. I was gifted with an environment that taught me how to communicate with maturity and that my emotions and humanness was welcome. And of course I have baggage and have not escaped the realities of toxic masculinity or this confusing and overwhelming modern world.
As I continued my exploration it became clear to me that my relationship with my own sexuality was woven through all the challenges and uncertainties in my life. By working with this core aspect of myself I could create revolutionary change that would flow into all parts of me. So that's what I did and for 4 years now I have been intensely studying human sexuality and relationships, formally and informally.
In this time I have become deeply involved in a men's rites of initiation retreat called The Grail (run by an organisation called Shematrix), this work is paradigm shifting and offers men an alternative to the stoic, unfeeling and disconnected people we have been taught to be. It informs everything I do and continues to nourish me personally and professionally.
I have studied twice with the Institute of Somatic Sexology and completed my Certificates in Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education.
I am a current professional member and the treasurer of the Somatic Sex Educators Association of Australasia which is the only governing body for somatic sexuality work in the southern hemisphere. As a professional member of the SSEAA my work is guided by the association's code of ethics and conduct. As a result I am able to hold professional indemnity and public liability insurance which, along with the codes, provides safety and assurance for my clients.
I have spent countless hours in a broad range of personal and professional development spaces and continue to use my own life experience as the most potent guide for how I can support men on their journeys to empowerment and self acceptance.