From a young age I ached for intimacy and connection with girls and women but for a long time I lacked the confidence and knowledge to create it. At the age of 11 or 12 I discovered porn and very quickly I developed a secret reliance on it as an outlet for my confused, unfulfilled and intense sexual desires. A large divide formed inside me between the raw, lustful and sexual being that I was in that space and the sensitive, caring and loving young man others knew me to be. I didn't know how to bring these two parts of me together.
I lived in this divided way until my early 20s, the only place where I could bring them closer together was in long term committed relationship where I felt confident my partner wouldn't reject me for being a sexual person.
At 23 I'd had enough of living in fear of my sexuality, trying to be the nice guy who didn't have raw lust or desire. I did my first "formal" personal development in the form of a men's rites of initiation retreat. During that process I discovered just how much of my manhood I had been suppressing from fear that by just being a man in the world I could hurt so many people. I had to fully accept who and what I was or my life would always have a hollow and confused quality to it.
After that retreat I set out to fully reclaim and own my sexuality with shameless confidence. I attended programs, festivals and workshops, ultimately leading to my professional study as a sexologist and coach.
I always knew I wanted to support people to live the most passionate, enlivened and loving life they could. The reason I have chosen to work with human sexuality is because I believe that it is one of the most core and personal aspects of your identity. It holds the root of almost all your wounding and when you work with and transform this part of yourself it ripples out and positively impacts all areas of your life.
I have studied twice with the Institute of Somatic Sexology and completed my Certificates in Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education. I am also a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Coach.
I am a current professional member and The President of the Somatic Sex Educators Association of Australasia which is the only governing body for somatic sexuality work in the southern hemisphere. As a professional member of the SSEAA my work is guided by the association's code of ethics and conduct. As a result I am able to hold professional indemnity and public liability insurance which, along with the codes, provides safety and assurance for my clients.
The other body of work that has had a profound impact on me and informed the work I do is the men's rites of initiation retreat I mentioned, called The Grail (run by an organisation called Shematrix). This work is paradigm shifting and offers men an alternative to the stoic, unfeeling and disconnected people we have been taught to be. It informs everything I do and has provided incredible frameworks for empowered communication, emotional intelligence and expression and continues to nourish me personally and professionally.
I have spent countless hours in a broad range of personal and professional development spaces and continue to use my own life experience as the most potent guide for how I can you on your journey to empowerment and self discovery.